When someone close to you begins forgetting conversations, missing appointments, or having difficulty with familiar tasks, it can be hard to know what to do.
You may find yourself watching more closely, offering reminders, or wondering whether to bring up your concerns.
Getting appropriate medical guidance is one step. Continuing to spend time together as family is another. Both deserve attention.
Memory difficulties can have several causes, including medication effects, emotional distress, and medical conditions. Persistent changes deserve assessment; forgetfulness alone does not establish a diagnosis of dementia. The National Institute on Aging explains the differences between everyday forgetfulness and memory problems that need attention.
If you are concerned, note specific examples: what happened, when it began, and whether it is affecting daily life. Encourage a conversation with a healthcare professional and offer to accompany your family member if they would like support.
A sudden change in memory, confusion, or behavior needs prompt medical attention.
For help understanding common terminology, read our explanation of the difference between Alzheimer’s and dementia.
Choose a private, unhurried moment to raise your concerns.
Rather than beginning with a conclusion, describe something you have noticed and invite their perspective:
“I noticed keeping track of appointments has been frustrating lately. How has that felt for you?”
Listen before suggesting solutions. The person may already be concerned, may see things differently, or may not want to discuss everything at once.
Ask what would help. A shared calendar, a written reminder, or company at an appointment may be welcome—but involve the person in deciding what support looks like.
Questions such as “Do you remember this?” often come from affection. When remembering becomes difficult, though, those questions can put pressure on a conversation.
Try offering some context instead:
“This is the beach we visited together. I loved sitting by the water.”
Then leave room for whatever follows. Your family member might share a memory, comment on the photograph, or take the conversation somewhere else.
You can also explore something neither of you needs to remember: a painting, a piece of music, a new material, or an idea.
An arts experience can provide a shared focus when you are unsure what to do together.
Place one artwork where you can both see it. Begin by noticing something yourself:
“That window catches my eye.”
Invite a response:
“What do you notice?”
There is no need to know the artist’s name or identify a particular detail. Follow the observations, questions, and preferences that arise.
With See, Say, More, Resilia Life provides a method for exploring art through looking and conversation. The image becomes a starting point for discovery, with room for different interpretations.
Memory matters, but it is one part of how people participate.
Looking closely, comparing possibilities, choosing materials, expressing an opinion, and deciding what to do next all give someone a role in an experience.
For example, when making a collage together, your family member might choose the images and arrange them while you assist with cutting or attaching pieces. Ask before helping, and leave decisions with the person wherever possible.
This is part of Resilia Life’s focus on cognitive and emotional resilience: creating opportunities to use abilities, adapt, express preferences, and contribute as circumstances change.
The Art Effect explains the dimensions that guide these experiences, including engaged minds, personal expression, recognized worth, shared connection, and purposeful participation.
Start with an interest, rather than a task you feel someone ought to complete.
Would they enjoy experimenting with color? Looking at a landscape? Exploring a personal story? Making something to display?
Resilia Life’s ArtLab Projects offer guided starting points for looking, storytelling, and making. Follow the participant’s interests and adjust the pace, materials, and assistance as needed.
You might return to the same image another day or continue a project over several visits. Familiar materials can provide a starting point while leaving room for new choices.
Notice what makes the experience inviting: the time of day, the amount of setup, the company, or the opportunity to decide what happens next.
Appointments and practical responsibilities can take up more of your time together. It helps to leave room for the interests and relationships you share, too.
You do not need to turn every visit into an activity. A creative resource simply gives you another invitation to offer when it fits.
Begin with something worth looking at, talking about, or making together. Allow time, offer support, and let the person help shape what happens.
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